Kaeru no Ousama
by Chiblets
Summary: Narrated by the three Sannin themselves comes the true story of "The Frog Prince".
1. A Messed Up Fairy Tale

Long ago…in a land ravished by war and destruction, a strong, tall, handsome, heh-heh, very, very attractive, and idolized prince lived gloriously in a kingdom full of riches and virtues. His white, silky hair shone like the sun on the winter snow, and he was best known throughout the land for his sexy, extravagant charm and exotic good looks. So loved was he that many women traveled the war torn land just for a glimpse of him. But alas, the prince did not know how to love in return. One by one, he played each and every woman who came to see him. He felt no remorse for his actions, he didn't see it necessary.

One day though, that all changed for the young prince. He was strolling through his palace, feeling like a big shot as usual, and whistling a cheerful tune. The prince entered his room and smiled, his eyes shining brighter than the morning sun. His eyes swept the area he knew as his room and a broad grin spread across his beautiful face. This was where he belonged, there in that wealthy palace, where everyone worshiped him. Where he was safe from the horrors of the true cruelty of the land in which he lived.

"Hello, my lord," a voice from behind startled the prince and caused him to yelp slightly.

He turned and laughed, hoping to play off his small fright. "Oh! Orochimaru, you shouldn't sneak up on me like that!"

The prince's most loyal servant smiled in a way that freaked him out. The servant flipped his long, black hair out of over his shoulder and bowed to his gorgeous, snow haired prince. "Of course, my lord. My apologies."

"What do you need, Orochimaru?" the prince asked, getting right to the point. "Has something happened?"

Orochimaru took one of the prince's hands and patted it. "Come outside with me, my lord, if you will."

He nodded and immediately pulled his hand away, then walking out onto the balcony connected to his room. The prince leaned against the railing and waited for his servant to join him. He had no idea what Orochimaru could possibly be bothering him with.

"My lord, you've built yourself quite a reputation," the servant said to his dazzling lord, his voice having a snake-like hiss to it. "Ssssire, I think it's time you settled down, but you won't. I know you well, my lord."

The sexy prince gave his servant a rather incredulous stare and then laughed, not only at the words spoken, but also at the tone of voice being used. Him, settle down? As if that was going to happen. The prince _never_ settled down. Though he was 'loved', he was deemed lucky if he could keep a woman in his presence for more than ten minutes, due to his certain interest in the female body. So why would he settle down? The idea was moronic!

* * *

Tsunade: That's only because you're a moron! And what's with all the unnecessary compliments to yourself?

Jiraiya: I'm trying to tell a story here, Madam Big Tits! So if you'll excuse—

Tsunade: **punches Jiraiya out**

Jiraiya: Ow! You didn't have to hit me… **frowns**

Tsunade: No, I chose to. **refuses to look at him**

Jiraiya: As I was saying…

* * *

"Ha, you're insane! Go on now, fetch me something to drink, Orochimaru,"

"Yesss, my lord. Whatever you wish," the prince's servant hissed once more, sending a chill down the prince's spine.

"You're really creepy when you do that…I guess it's my fault for hiring a child molester," said the prince as he shrugged his broad shoulders and stared disapprovingly at the longhaired fiend.

Orochimaru chuckled darkly and shook his head, getting on one knee and bowing once more. "But sssire, you have me missstaken. I'm no child molester." His words were followed by a slightly gleeful squeal and one of the servant's famous twisted grins.

"Of course you aren't…you just pay extra special attention to little kids," retorted the white-haired individual with an eyebrow raised.

"Children, my lord, are an important part of the world around usssss. Is it a crime to watch over them?"

"In your case…I'm pretty sure it is. Now, that drink?" the land's most eligible bachelor, if you're interested ladies, sighed and instantly a drink appeared in his hand.

The prince looked at the drink in amazement and then to his servant. Orochimaru merely rose to his feet and flipped his black hair once more over his shoulder.

"For you, my lord,"

Not thinking on how the snake-like man had conjured the drink out of thin air, the prince downed the liquid quickly. He gagged instantly at the most awful taste and dropped the cup his hand, the echo of the shattering glass filling the ears of the prince. He became light-headed and he surely thought that he was drugged. Which he most likely was.

"It'sss for your own good, my lord. Have fun with your new form, sssire. Now, ta-ta, I have some business to attend to," Orochimaru chimed to his liege and snapped, making the world around the prince go black.

The snowy-haired prince awoke in a place he was unfamiliar with. He looked around in confusion and noticed, with a fright, that the world seemed much, much larger than he last remembered. He held his normally beautiful hands in front of him, only to find that they were not hands, but the rough feet of a…a toad. The prince croaked, surprising himself, and hopped to a nearby stream, staring intensely at the form reflected back at him. Was he dreaming? He blinked a few times in hopes to rid the image of his new self and bring back his old, definitely more attractive figure. It did not work, much to the prince's dismay. He was definitely a toad. An ugly one too. If only he had looked better, maybe then he wouldn't have minded the form so much.

This was starting to remind him of the beginning of a very, very screwed up fairy tale, and he wondered…would it end as one too?

* * *

-Orochimaru appears—

Orochimaru: I don't quite recall behaving in such a manner, Jiraiya… I find your method of storytelling unfair.

Tsunade: I, for one, agree. You'd better get ready to share the spotlight, toad boy, because you're definitely not representing me when I come in.

Jiraiya: Hey! I was supposed to be the sole teller of this story! I was the one who got turned into a toad!

Orochimaru and Tsunade: Get over it.

Jiraiya: **pouts** And here I thought I'd get to actually do something myself…

Tsunade: Not this time.

Jiraiya: … **sighs **

Orochimaru: Well, it seemsssss we'll all play a part telling this tale.

Jiraiya: Fine then! I'm going to get a drink! No one starts this up again 'til I get back!

-exit Jiraiya—


	2. Confliction

_The servant walked idly down the well-lit hallway, pleased with his recent actions and gave the tiniest hint of a laugh. The prince had it coming. That idiot Prince Jiraiya had been acting out, and his punishment was bound to come._

_Stopping in the hall, the long-haired servant peered out the window which gave a generous view of the land beyond and once again chuckled. The place he'd sent the young prince was rather dangerous, full of predators of all sortsss. The servant did not ponder long on whether or not his lord would survive. He wasn't worried about Prince Jiraiya in the least._

_The servant had sent him into the lovely Princess Tsunade'sss territory, after all. Heh, heh, heh, what was the harm of it? Nothing, nothing at all. The princess would only beat him to a bloody, toady pulp if he abused his time as a toad for the sssake of his foul, perverted fetishes. See? There was nothing to worry about._

_Or was there?_

"_Oh my…maybe I gave my lord a bigger bite than he could chew…tsk, tsk, Orochimaru. You should know better…" the servant chastised himself rather harssshly before letting out a gleeful sound. "But…thissss is so much fun!"_

* * *

-Jiraiya reappears—

Jiraiya: Why you inconsiderate prick! What the hell did I do to deserve being turned into a damn toad?! **glares intensely at Orochimaru**

Orochimaru: Language, my boy, language. **shakes his head in dismay**

Jiraiya: Oh shut up, snake boy! I outta beat you to a pulp for that!

Orochimaru: Not to be disrespectful, my lord, but I do not sssee that happening anytime soon.

Tsunade: **hits both atop the head **You two are giving me a headache! Someone just continue with the story already before I send you both through the wall!

Jiraiya: …I think you cracked my skull, darling…. **rubs the top of his head and whines**

Orochimaru: For once, I find myself agreeing with our idiot prince. Control your ssstrength, if you can.

Tsunade: **cracks her knuckles **

Orochimaru: Right… **chuckles** My lord, why don't you pick up from here?

Jiraiya: Gladly!

* * *

The confused prince stared blankly at his reflection and tried his very best to come to terms with the awful transformation fate had dealt him. No, it wasn't fate. It was that damned snake, Orochimaru, who did this to him.

Anger coursed through the toad form the prince inhabited and he tried to growl, but a croak was heard instead. In a fit a rage, he splashed around wildly in the stream and croaked repeatedly. While such actions would seem silly to an onlooker, the prince found it necessary and a rather reasonable way to release his temper. Even he, known by those close to him as an idiot, knew that it was not healthy to keep emotions so strong locked away.

His actions unfortunately attracted attention. The beautiful prince craved attention more than a spoiled toddler, but this time, however, he did not want it. A pair of eyes watched him from the shadows, eyes that reminded him greatly of his betraying servant.

"What the hell are you looking at?!" the prince snapped at the watcher. "You got a problem with staring or something?! Go away!"

His watcher slithered out from its hiding spot, looking agitated and stretched its mouth open wide, revealing a pair of large, white fangs to the prince. It then hissed at him and its eyes flashed with malevolent intent as it slowly inched closer to the prince's toad form. This invoked fear in the young prince and instantly he turned, hopping as quickly as he could away from the venomous predator that eyed him hungrily. The snake gave chase and quickly slithered after the young man.

_Great_, he thought. _This is just lovely! A person of my position should not be reduced to running from snakes! _The prince dared a look back and croaked fearfully, pushing himself to the limits in hopes of escaping. His chaser was coming close, though, and the lord worried for his life at that moment.

"No! Go away! I'm not your food, you idiot!" he screamed, his tone slightly high-pitched due to the fact that he was scared. He didn't want to die like this! He wouldn't!

* * *

Tsunade: I believe that I should take it from here, Jiraiya.

Jiraiya: **grumbles **Ha, I think not. You don't show up for another two minutes at least!

Tsunade: Baka…you heard me…

Jiraiya: Yes, I'm not deaf!

Orochimaru: Let's all just calm down. There'ssss no need for all of this fuss. Lord Jiraiya, allow Princess Tsunade to take over…lest you wish to have a broken face. **smiles**

Jiraiya: **contemplates this** Fine, fine. Go ahead, _sweet princess_.

Tsunade: …..**blushes and punches Jiraiya through the wall** Now…I shall begin, without interruption.

* * *

**Time in the forest that belonged to her had prepared her for many things, and made her a strong woman. But even with all she thought she was prepared for, nothing at all prepared the princess for what happened that day.**

**The princess, who preferred not to be known as such, took walks in early morning before her father or any of her maids would awake, and used this time to forget her connections to royalty. It, more often than not, irked the blonde haired young lady when she was bothered with what her father called her "royal duties" and had to have some way of escape from it. Even if it were only for a few mere hours.**

**On that particular day, the lady sat under a great willow tree, overall enjoying the peaceful atmosphere of the early morn. Much to her dismay and irritation, it was not like that for long.**

"**Help! Help me someone! Please, no, no! I told you I'm not your food!" she heard a frantic voice croak not far from her location.**

**With an annoyed huff, the princess stood up and followed the sound of the fearful croak. It wasn't long before she came to the location of all the commotion. What the blonde lady saw surprised her quite a lot, and she had to blink many times before she came to terms with what she was seeing. A rather large and ugly toad was hopping quickly away from a snake that seemed determined to catch it. Had the toad not been talking, she would not have found such a display so odd.**

"**I said go away already! Do you not know who you're dealing with?! Quit chasing me!" the toad yelled at the snake, which only slithered faster after it.**

* * *

Jiraiya: Excuse me, I don't remember sounding like that! I didn't scream that much!

Tsunade: Oh yes you did! Now I said I didn't want to be interrupted! **glares at Jiraiya**

Jiraiya: Yeah, I know, sweetheart. But if you're going to get the facts wrong I think I have a right to correct you, woman!

Tsunade: **tackles Jiraiya and hits him a few times **Idiot! I've got my facts right!

Orochimaru: Are you two really going to do this now? **rolls his eyes at them **You act like children!

Jiraiya: She's the one who attacked me!

Tsunade: That's because you interrupted me, baka! Now I need a drink, dammit!

-Tsunade storms off angrily—

Orochimaru: Smooth… **smirks **

Jiraiya: Oh be quiet…


End file.
